One ringy-dingy, two ringy-dingy....

One ringy-dingy, two ringy-dingy....

I use a government cell phone, Tracfone and SafeLink. It’s a free phone. My phone works but, it’s disconnected. The computer voice said call 911. The calls on my phone, ingoing and outgoing calls; it’s not working. It’s dead. It’s in limbo. Well, that’s just wonderful.

I have aphasia. Words fail me. I have a script for the cellphone in my folder for the plumber, the lawn guy, the Culligan man…you get the picture. The dictionary and Thesaurus are a lifesaver.

The cellphone is disconnected. I go to the internet message center for SafeLink, explained the situation. I typed “I use a government cellphone. It’s a free phone. My phone works but, it’s disconnected. Help me, please. I used the proof of documentation for SafeLink,” said the script.

Oh, I get it. Long story short, numerous swear-words, email pixels, ID numbers and exhausting brain-freeze, all this work for naught. SafeLink is correct. The message center woman explained their annual income and monthly income below is minimum.

Late September, Fiat Chrysler Motors has retirement fund for retirees. I’m 69 in August. It’s substantial and I can breathe again.

Meanwhile, I ordered the Consumer Cellular. Before the cellphone, missed calls, abysmal apps (or no apps) and general disorder. I need a new phone.

I’m waiting for UPS. CC has a transfer phone for SafeLink. Once your phone arrives you should activate online. Here’s a plus, your number will automatically transfer on 04/01/17 if you have not already finished the process. That’s handy.

I’ll think I’ll wait for the first of April. No more Robo calls. It’s peaceful. 

SI...it's a bikini fest!

It's a bikini fest.

Harold, my neighbor, comes with the mail frequently, blustery winds, snow and wind. I’m not gonna do it. Brr.

“Swimsuits!” said Harold.

Swimsuits? There, Kate Upton, a necklace of beads and everything; a Sports Illustrated bikini fest. Postmarked upside down, Mickie Roller, arcane language for SI numbers, letters and address. I worry about the internet. It’s out there, lurking.

I played detective for the internet and SI appeared. Got the account number for the postmark and voila. There it is. My name, address and a Pennsylvania zip code. Well, where’s the cancellation? There, nested among the “revoke” terms, I entered-returned…but wait.

There’s pop-up screen. M2 Media Group (probably subscriptions) for cancellation; call this number. I called. There’s tuneful, melodious (prerecorded), lady stated the first issues are free. Sucker you in, perhaps? Then, the lady presents an address, if you want to cancel. Numbers and letters are bad news, really bad news. I get confused for 17 years. Regroup.

I found the internet M2 Media Group, found the cancellation, found the account number and stopped the product, all by myself. “Submit” and done. Whew.

I’m overwhelmed and flooded. I keep going.Two or three years ago, I had a sea change. I’m calmer now. Reasoning and understanding. My little brain is fried, though.

Oh, by the way, never subscribed to anything for magazines. 

Big Brother is watching you.

Internet Bank Statement

I looked at my internet bank statement every blessed day, and there’s a charge on my statement  to the tune of $162.47 for Dish Network One T. You know, TV? I have no cable, but I miss CNN. The antenna works well.

I had a stroke and words fail me. I’m a little aphasic and I have crib notes; a script. “I’m Mickie Roller. I had a stroke. I need help with my internet debit.” I ordered NOTHING. I talked to Dish numerous times. The Dish guy, Roderick, couldn’t be nicer. He had questions for the address and have you ever had Dish (No.). Bottom line, the charge was dropped.

I called PNC Bank, explained the situation and the charges were dismissed. All bases covered.

Meanwhile, what about the debit card? Yes, there’s nefarious people. Just to be safe, I ordered the debit.