A cap and bottle, please.

Sigh.

Hats off for CVS “push & turn” medicine device. Not.

For two days, I went through needle-nosed pliers, a bottle cap with ridges, manicure scissors and my trusty hammer just in case. No avail. I had a stroke. The left hand is fine but, my right hand is dead in the water.

I looked on the Internet for hot water…it soften’s the bottle. Nada. My right and left tennis shoes, firmly placed for the medicine receptacle, my left hand pushes and turns. Nyet. A child can to this. Well, wrong.

I’m complaining. I’m calling CVS. I’m a little bit aphasic, words fail me. Script notes I can do, but the CVS man/woman computer is quite hard, forming apart of numbers and digits. My head is reeling. Sixteen years, I’m totally bad with numbers. Nevertheless, a cap and bottle, please.

The mountain tops are rainy and wet, and my neighbor takes the mail for me.

“Hey, to me a favor? Can you open a bottle for me?”

Two hands. Nice.

I had a chimney fire in my wood stove.

 A standby generator.

I had a chimney fire in my wood stove.

Two-doors down, the neighbor noticed a conflagration on my smokestack. The neighbor called me, I immediately closed the flue. I forgot the clean out the flue. My bad. Called Nickos Chimney tout suite.

Seems a tree had fallen, a big, whopping tree lay on the road. The electricity is gone. Eight hours later, in the evening, lights! Meanwhile, I’m a popsicle. 

There’s more. The water’s gone too. Frozen pipes. I forgot to turn on the water. Three days later, there’s water again. Thanks, Culligan! I have five gallons, four each. The dogs had fresh water. Slurp. The dogs are happy.

Ahh, the Jonah blizzard of 2016. The chimney fire, electric problem and water (I have well water). I finally learned. 

Be prepared! 

I live in the Laurel mountains in Pennsylvania and little woodland creatures abound. I love my life.

I called Generac, a standby generator. It automatically swings to action. Probable solved.

I did it myself; 45+ channels, crystal clear sound. It’s not brain surgery (pardon the pun).

Crazy person.

I’m cutting the cord…sort of.

I bought a $69 dollar, 19 inch, refurbished,TV at WalMart (gotta love WM) and HDTV antenna. I live in the mountains. I discontinued the landline, and use the cellphone. It’s a Tracfone, serviceable, but, its no charge; I’m disabled. I use my internet every blessed day and I own two TV’s and a Fire Stick.

Last month, I called Armstrong, to the tune of $200+/- per month. That’s a lot cable. I explained the situation, no landline, and keep the internet and pull the plug for TV (the fishing channel…really?). TV is manageable, and dropped down at $125+/-. Armstrong has excellent service.

I assembled TV (the left-hand is a bear, the four screws in the base for the TV), I lugged the set in my bedroom (its light) and antenna, (20 tries, I finally took duct tape and plastered the signals on the window…again, my left-hand). 

I did it myself; 45+ channels, crystal clear sound. It’s not brain surgery (pardon the pun).

Keep in mind, no internet and no TV; the wire doesn’t help for electricity in a big storm. The cable is out. A small generator, I have a wood stove, five-gallons of water and provisions, just in case. Plus, a have wonderful neighbors.

Bye, Armstrong.

P.S. 01/06/16: Three TV's and the antenna is fine. CBS, ABC, NBC and PBS (4 channels), the sound is good and the picture is clear. 45+ too. I'm a happy girl. 

I don’t understand the concept of numbers. The gibberiish.

The dropped foot is no picnic. 

I fight throw rugs (no more!), trip myself and the dachshund moves out of the way.

I have WalkAide for seven years. The peroneal foot lifts the electrically…kind of a cattle prod.

 I’m out of electrodes.

Fifteen years, I had stroke. I’m totally bad with numbers and the dreaded spelling. Linda from Hanger products is my contact for Pittsburgh. She called me with a voicemail, indicated that the WalkAide is here and her cellphone is total gibberish. Fifteen years, I don’t understand the concept of numbers. One to ten, or more…I struggled. I can’t hear her; though, the hearing is completely fine. Gibberish.

Finally, numerous voicemails I have a system. The area code, location and the numbers. The brain tells me that four…one…two (I jot it down), call the voicemail, two…two…five (I jot it down), call the voicemail, two…five…three…five (I jot it down). Digits are bad, (1-10) I have no concept, again my brain is fried. For example:

four

one

two

two

two

five

two

five

three

five

I get that. I get the visional, not numbers. I call numerous times, many, many times. Yikes.

Maybe, I’ll consider the captioned phone. Before the stroke, I have an A personality…always on the move, the next big thing. 

God’s little irony.

I discontinued the statins. I’m not a Doc or a science guy.

 Spinach and strips of fat.

My cholesterol is 264, down to 283 last year; 200 mg. is the norm. I’m trying. Yay!

I discontinued the statins; muscle pain (especially the calf muscle) and the lower back. I look like a little old lady. Instantly, the pain was gone. (24 hours, more or less)

In my opinion, (just my opinion!), in masks the symptoms. Hypothetically, the woman takes statins, say 175 mg. Meanwhile, the woman eats butter, eggs, dairy, whole milk, the dreaded beef (corn fed). The liver pays the price for statins, (Bloodwork for the liver, that’s a given.) and predispose you for diabetes, type 2. http://www.webmd.com/diabetes/news/20150304/statins-linked-to-raised-risk-of-type-2-diabetes

I’m not a Doc or a science guy.

I’ve changed. Reverse-osmosis water, fruits and vegetables (organic, please), lots of beans, ground turkey, organic chicken, lots of fish and Tofurky. Check it out. It’s a soy-based product. http://www.tofurky.com/tofurkyproducts/ground.html

One vice, I have a sweet-fang. Candy-corn, peanut fudge, caramel is my downfall and love crystallized sugar. Yum.

I’m gonna work on that.

It’s too much phone-idge.

Ring.

I discontinued the 547 numbers and I have an existing cellphone, quasi-phone; a generic TracFone. I called Armstrong Cable and the phone is no more; hey, $30 bucks is $30 bucks! TracFone is a free phone and is serviceable, albeit the bells and whistles. It’s too much phone-idge. 

I called Automated Security Alarm (the thing with the neck chain pendant) and Monday morning, bright and early, the person is coming to install the cellphone.

By the way, words fail me. I’m a little bit aphasic, well, a lot. Irony abounds.

Ah, the laden-cholesterol-mystery-meat with egg and the fake cheese. Yum.

Egg White and Tofurky

My caregiver, Anita, and I were starving for McDonald’s Breakfast items, specifically, an Egg McMuffin (Egg White Delight). The McDonald’s person noted the Egg White Delight is not offered, but the laden-cholesterol-mystery-meat with egg was indeed offered. Egg McMuffin indeed. Sales and Marketing? You bet. Yech. 

I passed, thank you, fired up the kitchen and assembled 1/2 Lender’s Onion (Earth Balance Vegan pseudo-butter), Tofurky Smoky Maple Bacon, two egg whites (dogs love yolks), and low-fat mozzarella (left-hand, yet!).

1/2 Lender’s Onion (toasted), fake butter.

In a small skillet, medium-high, Smokey Bacon, turn it over and its done. Its a soy product.

A shade of olive oil in a small bowl and nuke two egg whites, (a nuance of salt, pepper, dill and parsley) One minute.

Sprinkle low-fat cheese with the egg whites. Nuke. 20 seconds +/-.

It isn’t half-bad.

http://www.foodservicedirect.com/index.cfm/m/4549/S/418/N/121080/Tempeh.htm

http://www.mcdonalds.com/us/en/food/full_menu/full_menu_explorer.html